To better understand the coming out experiences of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender adults, we asked them:
- How old they were when they first felt they might be gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans, even if they didn’t use those words to describe themselves at the time.
- How old they were when they first told someone that they were or might be gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans.
Half or more in each group say they knew they were gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans before age 14. Far fewer say they first told someone by that age.
- Gay and lesbian adults: 71% knew by age 14, while 13% had told someone by that age
- Bisexual adults: 50% vs. 15%
- Transgender adults: 58% vs. 16%
Small shares ranging from 1% to 4% across these groups say they haven’t told anyone they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans.
These experiences vary by age and gender among gay, lesbian and bisexual adults. The number of transgender adults in the survey is too small to break out demographic groups.
Experiences by age
Gay or lesbian adults
Most gay or lesbian adults across age groups say they first felt they might be gay or lesbian before age 14.
But younger gay or lesbian adults are far more likely than their older counterparts to say they first came out to someone at an early age.
Two-thirds of gay or lesbian adults ages 18 to 29 say they first told someone before they were 18, including 31% who say they first came out to someone at age 13 or younger.
By comparison, 53% of those in their 30s and fewer than half of those in their 40s (37%), 50s (32%) or ages 60 and older (24%) say they had told someone by the time they were 18. Few in these groups say they came out to someone when they were 13 or younger.
Bisexual adults
There are more pronounced age differences among bisexual adults on these questions.
A majority of those ages 18 to 29 (57%) and 51% of those in their 30s say they first felt they might be bisexual at age 13 or younger. Smaller shares of those in their 40s (39%) or ages 50 and older (32%) say the same. (The two oldest age categories are combined for bisexual adults due to sample size limitations.)
Some 56% of bisexual adults ages 18 to 29 say they had told someone by the time they were 18. This compares with 42% of bisexual adults in their 30s, 32% of those in their 40s, and 17% of those ages 50 and older.
Experiences by gender
Gay or lesbian adults
About eight-in-ten gay men (78%) say they first felt they might be gay at age 13 or earlier, including 40% who say they were first aware of their sexual orientation before age 10. Smaller shares of gay or lesbian women (53%) say they first felt they might be gay or lesbian at age 13 or younger, with 29% saying this happened before age 10.
Men and women give similar answers when asked at what age they first came out to someone. About four-in-ten each say this happened by age 18.
Bisexual adults
Among bisexual adults, women are more likely than men to say they first felt they might be bisexual at an early age:
- 53% of bisexual women say this happened at age 13 or younger, with 19% saying they first felt they might be bisexual before age 10.
- 39% of bisexual men say they first felt they might be bisexual before age 14, with 11% saying this happened before age 10.
Bisexual women (50%) are about twice as likely as bisexual men (24%) to say they had come out to someone by the time they turned 18. And 18% of bisexual women – compared with 5% of bisexual men – say this happened at age 13 or younger.
Roughly one-in-ten bisexual men (12%) say they haven’t told anyone about their sexual orientation. This is the case for only 2% of bisexual women.
Experiences of bisexual adults in a committed relationship
About nine-in-ten bisexual adults who are in a committed relationship, including those who are married or living with a partner, say their partner knows they are bisexual.4
Among those in a different-sex relationship (sometimes referred to as an opposite-sex relationship), women are more likely than men to say their partner knows they are bisexual (93% vs. 69%).
Overall, 87% of bisexual women in a committed relationship say their spouse or partner is a man. And 77% of partnered bisexual men are in a relationship with a woman. There aren’t enough bisexual adults in same-sex relationships in the sample to look at men and women separately.
