{"id":63280,"date":"2012-06-01T09:59:49","date_gmt":"2012-06-01T14:59:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alpha.pewresearch.org\/pewresearch-org\/2012\/06\/01\/alicia-menendez-my-gringa-mother\/"},"modified":"2024-04-14T00:09:52","modified_gmt":"2024-04-14T05:09:52","slug":"alicia-menendez-my-gringa-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alpha.pewresearch.org\/pewresearch-org\/race-and-ethnicity\/2012\/06\/01\/alicia-menendez-my-gringa-mother\/","title":{"rendered":"IV. Alicia Menendez: My Gringa Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/figure>

<!– <\/p>

Tell Us Your Story<\/p>

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>

Join the conversation about ethnic identity on the Pew Hispanic Center Facebook page. –><\/p><\/div>\n\n

It’s easiest to imagine my non-Hispanic white mother’s role in my Latina identity as the “absence of.\u201d If I’d had a Latina mother, the logic goes, I would speak fluent Spanish. I would have a proper reverse hyphenated surname, not the middle name “Jacobsen” that falls like an awkward feminist disclaimer between the very Latin “Alicia” and “Menendez.” But in reality, much of my Hispanic identity is the product of my Irish-German-Norwegian, third generation New Jersey mother, Jane, who swears thatshe was Dominican in her previous life. <\/p>\n\n

Jane’s first contribution to my identity was her proactive choice to raise us in the same place she and my father grew up. Take exit 17 off the Turnpike, the last exit before the Lincoln Tunnel, make a right by the Toys \u2018R\u2019 Us onto Kennedy Boulevard and you\u2019ll find yourself in the most densely populated city in America, Union City, New Jersey. The first wave of Hispanics who came to the \u201cembroidery capital of the world\u201d were Cuban exiles, among them, my paternal grandparents, aunt and uncle. By the time my brother and I were in middle school, many of the Cubans had moved up and out, and were replaced with new waves of Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, Colombians and Ecuadorians. <\/p>\n\n

If you grow up in Union City, you are likely, by default, to be effectively Hispanic. You learn to salsa by middle school. On at least one birthday, you\u2019ll be honored with an actual “Barby” (the kind they sell at the 99 cents store, not to be confused with Mattel\u2019s “Barbie”) popping out of your cake. And you\u2019ll find it odd later in life when people say hello without cheek-to-cheek kisses. <\/p>\n\n

If I\u2019d had another mother, even a Latina mother, who wanted to uproot us from Union City, all of that cultural nuance would have been lost.<\/p>\n\n

At home, my mother\u2019s efforts were never forceful or overt.She simply loved Hispanic culture and she expressed that with authenticity and genuine curiosity. My mom is the one who put Isabel Allende books in my hands.She is the one who knew, long before he won a Pulitzer, that Junot D\u00edaz was going to be a big deal. She\u2019s the one who makes caf\u00e9 con leche every morning.<\/p>\n\n

Yes, I bury my head in my hands every time my mother proudly declares that the only Spanish she knows is \u201cUna cerveza, por favor.\u201dI laugh every time an email from \u201cJuana\u201d pops up in my inbox, or my mom calls me from her car phone to say that she\u2019s \u201cbachat\u2019ing up the Turnpike.\u201d But the truth is that without my gringa mother, I might not be as proud to be Latina as I am today.<\/p>\n\n

Alicia Menendez is a host and producer at HuffPost Live. You can find her on Twitter @aliciamenendez<\/a> and subscribe on Facebook: facebook.com\/AliciaMenendez<\/a>. <\/p>

Views in this conversation series are those of each author alone, and not the views of the Pew Hispanic Center, which is nonpartisan and non-advocacy.<\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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I would have a proper […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":294,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sub_headline":"","sub_title":"","_crdt_document":"","_prc_public_revisions":[],"_ppp_expiration_hours":0,"_ppp_enabled":false,"ai_generated_summary":"","relatedPosts":[],"reportMaterials":[],"multiSectionReport":[],"package_parts__enabled":false,"package_parts":[],"_prc_fork_parent":0,"_prc_fork_status":"","_prc_active_fork":0,"datacite_doi":"","datacite_doi_citation":"","_prc_seo_qr_attachment_id":0,"spoken_article_player_enabled":true,"displayBylines":true,"footnotes":"","prc_watchers":[]},"categories":[],"tags":[],"bylines":[],"collection":[],"datasets":[],"level_of_effort":[],"primary_audience":[],"information_type":[],"_post_visibility":[],"formats":[458],"_fund_pool":[],"languages":[],"regions-countries":[],"research-teams":[523],"workflow-status":[],"class_list":["post-63280","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","formats-report","research-teams-race-and-ethnicity"],"label":false,"post_parent":63320,"word_count":531,"canonical_url":"https:\/\/alpha.pewresearch.org\/pewresearch-org\/race-and-ethnicity\/2012\/06\/01\/alicia-menendez-my-gringa-mother\/","art_direction":false,"_embeds":[],"watchers":[],"table_of_contents":[{"id":63320,"title":"A Conversation About Identity","slug":"a-conversation-about-identity-tell-us-your-story","link":"https:\/\/alpha.pewresearch.org\/pewresearch-org\/race-and-ethnicity\/2012\/05\/30\/a-conversation-about-identity-tell-us-your-story\/","is_active":false},{"id":63334,"title":"II. 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