Life on Social Media Platforms, in Users’ Own Words
In focus groups, highly engaged social media users describe the purposes that different platforms serve for them, their choices about what to reveal and how they try to anticipate any hostile reactions that could be lurking
Behind each sweeping exploration of the role social media plays in society stand the unique stories of Americans and their online lives. People bring deeply personal needs to social media, and their experiences play out in deeply personalized ways, tied to the platforms and communities they are part of. These platforms can host nearly any imaginable human encounter or emotion, from powerful self-expression and deep connection to intense hostility and ruinous deceit.
To gain insight into people’s experiences and the platform environments that shape them, Pew Research Center conducted a series of five focus groups from July 11 to 13, 2022. They were designed to capture how the participants – all of whom were especially engaged on social media platforms – might navigate the complexities of their online worlds.
The discussions shed light on topics that are difficult to cover with surveys alone: How do people create the social media environment they hope to enjoy? What choices and calculations do they make about what to reveal, where to reveal it and who might be watching? How do the platforms that companies provide shape the experiences they have?
The views of these 23 U.S. adults – called “highly engaged users” throughout this report as shorthand – are not representative of all social media users or other populations. These individuals:
- Used multiple platforms frequently: They said they used at least three social media sites and apps, each at least a few times a week;
- Frequently shared things or commented when using social media: They said they frequently used social media to share things about themselves, share things other people have posted or comment on others’ content – either almost every time they used it or often;
- Found posting on social media important for self-expression: They said social media was extremely or very important to them in this way.
No single “social media experience” emerged from their stories – instead, participants’ accounts were nuanced and unique. Still, common themes arose from the group discussions, each connecting diverse experiences across platforms:
Their stories highlight the ways navigating social media can both enrich and complicate people’s lives. Together, they form a detailed snapshot of what life on platforms looked like for these highly engaged users – grounded in the personal experiences of the people behind the screens and the platforms that shaped these experiences. (It should be noted that the groups took place before changes in Twitter’s ownership and as debates about TikTok were just heating up.)
This report describes findings from five live, online focus groups with a total of 23 U.S. adults, conducted from July 11 to 13, 2022. Pew Research Center worked with SSRS to conduct the groups, which were designed to capture the experiences of people who are especially engaged on social media platforms.
All of them were recruited from the SSRS Opinion Panel. To be eligible, they had to meet the following criteria making up the definition of a “highly engaged user” used in this report:
- Used multiple platforms frequently: They said they used at least three social media sites and apps, each at least a few times a week;
- Frequently shared things or commented when using social media: They said they frequently used social media to share things about themselves, share things other people have posted or comment on others’ content – either almost every time they used it or often;
- Found posting on social media important for self-expression: They said social media was extremely or very important to them in this way.
For more details on other eligibility criteria, recruitment and group composition, read the Methodology.
Center researchers developed a recruitment screener and discussion guide with assistance from SSRS, who partnered with InsideOut Insights (IOI) to conduct and moderate the groups.
While these groups are not representative of any broader population, participants were selected in order to achieve a mix of demographic characteristics (e.g., age, gender, race and ethnicity, education, urbanicity and political party). Four groups were organized by either race and ethnicity or political party, while the other did not have additional demographic criteria. The discussion guide was the same for all groups.
Center researchers observed the focus groups and reviewed both the recordings and the transcripts from these groups to identify key themes and quotes. This report is meant to illustrate the variety of views and experiences of focus group participants, not the frequency with which these views and experiences came up. Views expressed by participants have not been fact-checked and are not representative of the overall experiences of any of these groups in the U.S. population. Quotations have been lightly edited for grammar and clarity.
Here are the key takeaways from the focus groups, featuring participants’ quotations (lightly edited for grammar and clarity) related to each of these themes.
What? Where? When? Using different platforms for different purposes
Our surveys have long shown that some people use a variety of online platforms – some of them very frequently – and that these are places for everything from staying in touch with loved ones to navigating contentious conversations. In the focus groups, two highly engaged users described how their use of platforms can make up the puzzle pieces of a highly customized online life.
“Twitter is more serious for me. Snapchat is a playground. We just get on there and post a bunch of goofy, great filters. … Then Facebook is more of a neighborhood or a village in a way. You can create your own set of, I guess, people that understand you. … Instagram … is a picture book. … [Twitter is] politics and world events. I get a lot of news on my Twitter.”
– Woman, 20s
“Facebook is just mainly to just get in contact with my mom in Messenger. … YouTube is more entertainment. I also use it to learn more things because there’s just a bunch of information on YouTube, which you also have to be careful because a bunch of that is misinformation. And then TikTok is also mainly for entertainment for me. … For Instagram, it’s more friends and Facebook is more family.”
– Woman, 30s
In the discussions, participants described how platforms served different purposes for them and helped them connect with different audiences. One participant described looking for specific things on TikTok, while another used it mostly to disconnect from life’s pressures; another turned to Twitter to follow politics; still others mentioned using platforms for entertainment or as a way to find solutions to problems they were dealing with.
Several highly engaged users described Facebook as a place to connect and interact with others, and one woman discussed how she uses different platforms for different groups of people in her life. A range of platforms came up throughout the discussions, including some beyond those the research initially set out to explore.
“Facebook, I use to connect with friends and family and to just keep them generally updated about what’s going on in my life. Then TikTok, I use for finding books, finding recipes, things that make me laugh. … Reddit, I use to post things and questions for people to give their opinion. … I use these platforms for different things.”
— Woman, 30s
“I would connect to Facebook for my family, … Instagram is for friends – all of my friends from all over the world. I connect to them on there. And then I use TikTok to just disengage entirely from people I know and just random people.”
— Woman, 20s
“I don’t put much personal information on my Instagram. … As far as Facebook, that’s where I really do most of my interactions. If I’m using YouTube, I’m looking for something specific. I’m learning how to fix a phone. I’m learning what’s wrong with my car.”
— Woman, 30s
“I like the fact that on Twitter I can follow politics. So that’s a great place where I may want to filter out politics I don’t want to hear about, and focus on only those stories that are interesting to me.”
— Woman, 50s
“TikTok for sure is the most distracting. It’s just a way to escape and just numb out for an hour or longer. And just watch continuously. Facebook is a little different because … I use it as part of my job … but of course Facebook has a lot of push notifications that butt in and intrude.”
— Man, 20s
“I like Instagram because that’s the one my peers use the most. That’s the only reason I got it. I like Snapchat, but I just got that one for … like dating stuff. But Instagram, I like a lot more just because it’s funny, it has all those things. TikTok has some things I don’t like. So I guess main reason [for] Instagram is just because that’s what my peer group has.”
— Man, 40s
Community and connection: Finding the ‘social’ in social media
A recurring high note for some participants in the focus groups related to finding community, support and connection on social media platforms. Two participants described ways that interactions on platforms both surprised them and added value to their lives – allowing them to connect with people both online and offline.
“I like Facebook because of the different groups that you can join. … And it lets you know that you’re not alone on whatever it is that you’re experiencing. You’re not on the earth by yourself. … It lets you know that even though you may be facing something, you may see it in a group or see it on a post that somebody else … overcame it and it lets you know that you can too.”
– Woman, 50s
“I put a post out on … both Nextdoor and Facebook, and I was shocked at the outpouring of help I got. People said, ‘Hey, you don’t live that far from me. I’m a notary. I’d actually be happy to stop by and help you.’ … It was nice. It was a real good experience with social media. It was nothing but positive.”
– Man, 50s
One man described how TikTok helped him to feel less alone amid the pandemic; another used Nextdoor to tap into the local community. When it comes to keeping in touch with people who matter to them, one woman discussed how Facebook served as a way to find connection and maintain long-distance relationships. Another user, adding his experience on a streaming platform, described how connection could have both upsides and downsides.
“I think TikTok has an excellent algorithm that really quickly finds out what you want to see. You’ve got the ability to share with your friends and talk about it. And it’s really funny videos, really engaging, what you want to see. And it helped me really get through the pandemic. Helped me feel connected when we weren’t able to get out.”
— Man, 20s
“The whole connecting with family that you haven’t seen for years or that are far away – I love that. That’s one of my favorite parts about Facebook.”
— Woman, 30s
“I’m the type of person that goes to social media to encourage and help others, if I can. Then I actually learn stuff and get encouraged from helping other people as well because I’m a firm believer that what we go through in life is not always about us. So I use Facebook as a way to encourage and help people.”
— Woman, 40s
“I never felt a greater sense of community than when I was on Twitch. To the point where it was addictive and I stopped using it because I felt like I was overdoing it.”
— Man, 40s
“I’ve used [Nextdoor] a lot within the community. Just for recommendations, going from restaurants to dog groomers, if there’s anything being sold around the area or if you want to sell something around the area. So it’s been very useful within the community.”
— Man, 40s
How much of the ‘real me’? Navigating authenticity and self-expression
These highly engaged users described vastly different approaches to self-expression on social media, ranging from full authenticity to being highly reserved to aspiring to present their best selves. Participants discussed how forthcoming they felt they could be on platforms, what they want people to take away from their social media presence and how this connects with their offline self.
Two participants highlighted the extremes of a continuum when it comes to how much their social media presence reflects who they are offline – from putting everything out there confidently to drawing a sharp distinction between the “real” self and the social media self.
“I truly feel I’m the same person on social media and when you meet me. I’m definitely one of those people who pride myself in that. … [I use] the same tone, the same attitude, the same emotions, everything is the same for me.”
— Woman, 30s
“I definitely don’t think anyone would ever know the real me from social media, like probably 25% [of] me.”
— Man, 40s
Some participants said they like being an open book and “living out loud”; others were more reluctant or selective. One user described keeping things “vague,” while others talked about letting their personality shine through or spreading positivity. Especially in one group, several women described using social media platforms to call attention to injustice and stand firm to their views:
“I will repost things and post articles about injustices that I feel are going on or things that have happened to other people that they need boosted to get other people’s attention. … With social media, I have the opportunity to live out loud. … I don’t feel the need to limit myself when I post on social media. If I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it everywhere.”
— Woman, 30s
“I always kind of vaguely post on just vague stuff. I don’t really post anything personal … you never know who’s watching, and then also, it’s not everyone’s business what goes on inside your household or with your friends or family. So, you don’t want to get too personal in certain stuff – sensitive topics. You just kind of want to keep things general and broad.”
— Man, 30s
“I think I’m very much the same person. What you see is what you get. … [From reading my posts, you would take away] that I have very strong feelings and that I’m not afraid to voice them. If something is wrong, it’s wrong. … If you don’t speak up about it, nothing happens. And I’m just not one that can just sit back. … My political posts would be one thing. If you looked at my wall because I don’t put anything personal on there, you would know that I love kitties and flowers, that’s about all you’d walk away with.”
— Woman, 60s
“I want to come across as a positive person because that’s who I want to be, is someone who’s positive, someone who’s encouraging, motivating and uplifting. That’s what I want to portray on my page and that’s what I want to be in life.”
— Woman, 50s
“Since there’s so much negativity out there, I like to post funny videos, things that I find lighthearted. Or just to spread a little bit of kindness, not so much negativity and hate because there’s just so much out there of that. … [When I’m working,] I tend to be that person, to be light-hearted. And I tend to do that the same on social media.”
— Woman, 30s
“With me on Facebook, even a stranger will pick up that I have a strong personality. I have morals. I have determination. Even if I post something funny, what I write about that funny thing, they can tell who I am and what I’m about. And that’s how I am.”
— Woman, 70s
Who’s out there? Tailoring social media posts to different audiences in different places
For some participants in the focus groups – all of whom used multiple platforms frequently – their decisions about what to reveal and how much to share were tied to specific platforms and who would see what they posted on each. Some saw certain places as more suitable than others for some types of content, and made their decisions about what to post accordingly – for example, using multiple platforms to control who saw what. Still others said they only share things in places they feel are more private.
“I think on social media it’s more curated. I show what I want people to see. I mean, depends on what social media. Like Facebook, it’s very like prim and proper … [on] Instagram … I can go more into my political views, my social views and things like that.”
— Woman, 20s
“I use Instagram versus Facebook to separate friends and family. [I put] stuff I don’t want my family to see on Instagram and stuff I don’t want my friends to see on Facebook. And then my getaway from it all would be YouTube just [to] learn about random stuff.”
— Man, 20s
“I like privacy. … I don’t post a lot of things that I don’t want people to know. And I feel like I just want to share that with my family. That’s why I created a special group with them.”
— Woman, 20s
In deciding where to post, several participants described their calculations about how “public” certain platforms seem – even as the platforms offer a variety of privacy settings – and took note of who might follow them on each site. For example, one man in his 20s described feeling more cautious about Facebook, where “everybody’s watching,” while Instagram allowed him to take advantage of the fact that he could share things with less permanence.
“Facebook feels a lot more public. You got to be a bit more careful about what you say. On Instagram, I feel like I can post any stupid take that I have to my story. And it’ll be gone in 24 hours and only people who I’ve allowed to follow me will see it. Whereas with Facebook, I feel like everybody’s watching.”
– Man, 20s
“On Facebook, I’ve got a much more diverse group of followers. I’ve got work colleagues, I’ve got personal friends, old friends, new friends, family, so I think I’m a bit more considerate on what goes on Facebook just because I know it’s going through a very wide audience. … Twitter is more people my age, friends or acquaintances I’ve met mostly through politics. I’m usually a bit more open on Twitter than Facebook.”
– Man, 20s
“[On] Instagram, if you’re not a friend of mine, I’m usually not interacting with you. You’re not looking at my stuff. I’m not commenting on your picture. … [I control] who I’m interacting with.”
– Woman, 40s
“On TikTok and sometimes on Instagram, I post things about women’s rights, equality, like political things. I think that’s really important. … Facebook, I post just regular family things, … basic updates for friends and family.”
– Woman, 30s
“I would never, in a million years, post something political on LinkedIn. LinkedIn is for work. … I am more outspoken on things like Facebook, but I think that accurately reflects who I really am in real life. It’s not that LinkedIn doesn’t, it’s just, I choose not to antagonize anyone on LinkedIn.”
– Man, 50s
“I’m very reserved on Twitter and LinkedIn because I consider those more of what people can associate with if they Google me. … But you can’t Google me and find my Facebook. … [There] I’m very outspoken.”
– Woman, 50s
Exposed and at risk: Anticipating possible attacks
In recent years, our survey research has explored why some people are reluctant to post on social media about political and social issues, how the public views cancel culture, and whether people think viewpoints are censored on social media.
The focus groups provided insight into risk calculations people might make as they navigate contentious environments, as well as the broader consequences users thought could arise from posting in a relatively public forum. Participants’ worries included concerns around being “screenshotted”; feeling like they have a target on their back; fearing for their reputation; and wondering if what they say might get them banned from a platform. Some of them described these concerns in response to questions about posting political views specifically:
“I don’t [share about political or social issues] online. If I do anything online, it would be … a thumbs up or a dislike, and that’s it. I would just keep it at that, because posting something would just turn into an argument, and I just don’t have the time and energy to continue, because it’s a losing battle anyway.”
— Man, 40s
“People screenshot [things others say]. And take the private [conversation] out of private and make it public. It’s not safe [to express political views].”
— Woman, 20s
“[I think that] Facebook … [has] gotten so much worse with [banning you or locking your page]. … They will remove your post before they even let you know that you’ve made a mistake. And then they won’t even halfway give you a chance to kind of plead your case.”
— Woman, 30s
One woman discussed being verbally attacked on Facebook, while another described how the Nextdoor communities she was a part of differed based on where they were. Other participants talked about seeing some platforms as particularly combative, or the repercussions they might face in terms of their reputation or from the platforms. Some also talked about the possibility of being monitored or that social media posts could be used against them.
“My husband and I, and my son, had COVID maybe a year and a half ago. … At the time I wasn’t vaccinated. So, I went and got vaccinated. We all went together, and I put it on Facebook, not knowing I was going to be attacked for it. I’m telling you that a guy came, attacked me, said I’m stupid, I’m an idiot and all kind of stuff. It hurt my feelings, I almost cried. I’m like, ‘How could somebody be so mean?’”
– Woman, 40s
“[The city I used to live in] had a very active Nextdoor community that was pretty helpful. But then I moved and there wasn’t a presence, really, in the neighborhood that I live in now. And so I went ahead and started it. … There’s so much infighting and they squabble about all sorts of just trivial things. … It just seems ridiculous to me that they have to get on there and argue with each other.”
– Woman, 50s
“As soon as you go into Twitter, you’re like, ‘All right, who am I going to fight with?’ … I can’t see anyone going on to Twitter ready to smile.”
– Man, 40s
“I sing gospel, so people recognize me. So I can’t really respond to something that people say to me [on social media platforms] because of the fact that [there will be] lots of effects on the group, not just me. I have to be careful, watch what I say.”
– Man, 60s
“I’ve seen a lot of people get their Instagram accounts locked, hacked, or put in timeout for saying things. Instagram, I think, is like the big brother of, you can’t say that you’re in timeout.”
– Woman, 40s
“I think you have to be kind of apprehensive about what you post on Facebook because you can be labeled a bigot [for] giving your opinions on certain things … someone could go back and look at your comments [or] something that you said and say this person’s a bigot or they’re racists or religious bigots. … It’s things like that that I won’t post. There are certain topics that I just avoid.”
– Woman, 60s
“I have no doubt that there are people who are monitoring different people, depending on what you post.”
– Woman, 60s
“It’s not like you can really have a rational conversation with these people, because it does get emotional. Everybody’s dug into their left or right side. … I do talk to people; only to people who I know … agree with me, because at least it helps to talk to someone about it. But for example, I know people who vehemently disagree, and I just don’t say anything, and those people keep saying things just to egg me on, and to try to drag me into a conversation, and I just don’t say anything.”
– Woman, 60s
Listen, CEO: Changing social media
for the better
To close out the focus groups, participants were asked how they would want those who run social media companies to troubleshoot some of the problems they see: If a CEO of a social media company you use were sitting with us right now, what would you tell them to change to make their platform better for you and the people you know?
Some responses covered issues from what speech is allowed on the platforms to prioritizing user wellness and protecting younger users.
“I would say [to Facebook’s CEO and others, I want] … a stronger stance combating authoritarian views and support.”
– Man, 50s
“Give me a time limit. … Once I reach my time limit, lock me out.”
– Woman, 50s
“I would say everyone who is on social media needs to [meet] an age requirement.”
– Woman, 30s
Other users provided different takes on these themes – some to particular CEOs while others for social media platforms broadly:
“I’m thinking of Facebook: If it’s going to be run by one type [or] group of people, then say that, but don’t [be] underhanded, backhanded, push an agenda, and then mute comments that differ.”
– Woman, 40s
“Maybe a few steps before they block or ban somebody. I don’t know, three strikes you’re out or something like that.”
– Man, 20s
“I think that the system that they use to flag videos or label inappropriate content is broken and needs to be investigated.”
– Woman, 30s
“I would say that Facebook shouldn’t be so eager to punish people just because someone reports something. Because one person can report something and then you’re in Facebook jail. … They should allow more freedom of expression. I liked it when it first started. It was more open.”
– Woman, 60s
“I know social media is a business, but if they could just take the business aspect out of it and … be more aware of the mental health aspects of social media.”
– Woman, 20s
“Cultivate discussion but shut down bullying right off.”
– Woman, 50s
“My biggest issue would be with TikTok. Just the whole underage [issue], and not limiting what other kids are watching, and the whole algorithm. … The targeted videos, and what I’ve seen and heard of the videos of underage kids on TikTok, it needs to be monitored more.”
– Woman, 30s
Design and illustrations by Peter Bell. For more details on how this research was conducted, read the Methodology. This essay is a collaborative effort based on the input of many individuals.